17 Things That Make Absolutely No Sense About "Fifty Shades of Grey"
August 19, 2014 - Fifty Shades of Grey
1. They email behind and forth. Google gets mentioned in a 50 Shades of Grey universe, so we know this is holding place after a dial-up, electronic mail, AOL disturb of 1996. And yet, some college-age lady is regulating email on purpose to promulgate with someone other than her grandma. A lot. I’m usually not shopping that this wouldn’t occur by Gchat or iMessage.
2. A grown lady says “double crap” inside her possess conduct a lot. This isn’t someone anyone says out loud, let alone in her possess conduct constantly. “Double crap” is fundamentally Anastasia’s catchphrase, and it’s a millennial homogeneous of an aged lady yelling out, “Oh, raspberries!” when she loses during bingo.
3. Anastasia is spooky with how many people fit around/on furniture. “There’s a complicated dim timber table that 6 people could absolutely eat around.” “To a right is an commanding U-shaped lounge that could chair 10 adults comfortably.” Normal people don’t consider in these terms. Normal people think, “Yo, that cot is crazy big.”
4. Christian Grey says a judgment “Thank fuck.” This is real. He says this when Anastasia orgasms and he uses it a same approach a normal chairman would say, “Thank goodness.” If anyone pronounced this to me in genuine life, we would giggle in his face.
5. Grey marks a lady regulating program and her dungeon phone vigilance after she dipsomaniac dials him. For some reason, this isn’t deliberate weird. Any receptive chairman would be like, “How did we find me? Oh, that’s cool. Hey sorry, we have this thing we have to go be during forever.” End of that story.
6. Anastasia wakes adult though a hangover since Grey done her splash one potion of H2O a night before. Anastasia goes on a tequila bender and wakes adult feeling flattering good and even cooking an whole breakfast and it’s all apparently interjection to a fact that Christian Grey done her chug a potion of water. The final time we went on a tequila bender we woke adult exposed and lonesome in sand and we suspicion we was dying. A potion of H2O would not have helped me.
7. Christian Grey usually hires blonde women. Do we know how many reporters would be violence down his door? How many lawsuits there would be? People would be essay headlines like “Business Hitler Hires Only Aryan Superwomen.” There’s no approach this would fly in a genuine world, even with someone as complicated and puzzling as Grey. If Anastasia can figure out his MO 5 mins into display adult during his company, so can other people.
8. Christian Grey meets Anastasia’s mom notwithstanding wanting a no-strings trustworthy relationship. If this dude unequivocally wanted to be crash buddies, he’d stay distant divided from her friends and family. Yeah, yeah, we know they have a tie and tumble in adore or whatever, though no man is going to make that kind of joining that early.
9. The sex contract. Even if she did pointer it, how is this enforceable in any way? She could still flattering most be like, “Peace, I’m outie,” during any connection and all would be fine.
10. Christian Grey is fundamentally Don Draper. His mom was a moment prostitute and he came from terrible beginnings and now he’s cold and abounding and handsome. That judgment could go in possibly character’s Wikipedia entry.
11. Their final names are “Grey” and “Steele.” Come on.
12. She calls her vagina “my sex” and talks about her “inner goddess.” No one talks like this. It’s a vagina. Just contend “vagina.” She also refers to her “inner goddess” 57 times and we still don’t know what it is.
13. The usually Latino impression says, “Dios mio,” approach too much. Jose is reduction like an accurate depiction of a Latino chairman and some-more a hairy design of how a white chairman who has never met a Latino chairman thinks one competence act.
14. The housekeeper cleans a red room of pain. How most does she assign to purify that shit? Also, when Anastasia’s blood gets on a sheets, Christian is like, “LOL, whatever, we gamble my lassie is going to consider that’s weird.” Have some honour for people, dude. Just since they’re blue-collar workers doesn’t meant they need to be doing someone’s vagina blood.
15. Anastasia claims she doesn’t caring about Grey’s money, though takes a Blackberry, car, and laptop from him. Actually, a usually problem we have with this is that he gave her a Blackberry. Is this man a 50-year-old businessman?
16. She comes when he tells her to. I don’t caring who we are or how good a sex is, we can’t start orgasming on authority like some kind of sex wizard.
17. Anastasia has an orgasm from pap kick alone. Is this possible? Apparently. But I’m not shopping that he does this on his initial try with a lady who has never had a passionate knowledge before. No one is that good. No one.
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