17 Ways Fifty Shades of Grey Would Be Different if It Came Out Today
October 8, 2016 - Fifty Shades of Grey
1. Ana would petiole Christian on Twitter. He’d have one of those accounts where he tweets totally uninteresting things 4 times in a quarrel and afterwards doesn’t twitter again for 3 months — during that time he resumes to essay tweets with as most wit as a paint chip.
2. They’d have iPhones FFS. Well, Christian competence have an android since he’s realistic and zero is ever good adequate for him.
3. Ana would drunkenly Snapchat herself out during a bar with a deer face lens and Christian would get extravagantly sceptical and repremand her — both for holding “juvenile” and “embarrassing” cinema that “could trickle everywhere” and for adventurous to be out socializing though him.
4. Instead of operative in book edition Ana would be a “content creator” during PopSugar, in their newly combined “books nostalgia” vertical. Christian would set adult a Google Alert so he could see all of her articles as shortly as they strike a site.
5. Christian’s sister Mia would have 6 figures’ value of Instagram supporters (or however many we need to be an “influencer”). Christian happily supports her selling robe so she can make #bae cinema full of #shoesandbags. A signature annoyance for a family was when Mia seemed on a Rich Kids of Instagram feed.
6. Jose would Snapchat Ana a dick pic and Christian would chuck Ana’s phone during a wall (or maybe during his grand piano) withdrawal Ana with a damaged screen, that she would exclude to let Christian reinstate since she “hates his money.”
7. Mrs. Robinson would have sole her story to TMZ.
8. Leila would have sole her story to a Daily Mail.
9. Christian would have a private apartment during a Orgy Dome during Burning Man. He would post one tedious Instagram of his dried perspective from here.
10. Christian would view on Ana with a drone in further to stalking her by walking GPS technology.
11. After Ana’s trainer sends her a “sexy” snap of his exposed torso, Christian would confirm to buy out Snapchat and implement a filter on Ana’s phone so that usually he can snap her and clamp versa. He eventually creates an difference for his whiny sister Mia who, like, unequivocally wants Ana to join her squad.
12. Christian would direct Ana pointer adult for Blue Apron so he can control her food intake.
13. They wouldn’t email.
14. Ana would send Christian lots of emojis. He would eventually ask her what emojis are and start regulating them himself — though usually one during a time since he’s such a man.
15. Christian would insist on facetiming Ana instead of job her so he can safeguard she’s eating and/or not with another masculine human.
16. Grey Enterprises Holdings would be a hip bureau where people wear jeans and plaid shirts and Warby Parker glasses instead of dress suits. The employees would be constantly jumpy from a nominal cold brew. Christian Grey would be deliberation installing a fro-yo machine, mostly so that when Ana visits he can use the deliverables in sex acts.
17. Instead of operative in a hardware store in college Ana would have a side dispatch as an Uber driver.