Hilariously Bad Fifty Shades Of Grey Dialogue We Hope Won’t Be Included In Darker Film

January 24, 2016 - Fifty Shades of Grey

So, suppose this scenario. You’re usually settling down with a potion of booze and a latest part of House of Cards when your best crony rings. She’s distraught, as her scattered event with her trainer has incited nasty: he’s damaged into her house, banned her from saying family, and has frequently threatened earthy violence. Do we a) advise her to cut all ties with a male and deliberate a police, or b) assure her that he unequivocally does adore her and all this is usually his approach of display affection.

A) is a apparent choice. But as Fifty Shades of Grey taught us, b) is a some-more regretful option. Which is unequivocally concerning to contend a least.


Fifty Shades Of Grey has drawn argumentative opinions given a book was published, and a film usually heightened a debate. Everyone loves controversy. It’s fun to speak about, it’s fun to disagree about, and it’s fun to watch a whole emanate turn out of control. But if we came to a Fifty Shades controversy celebration for a anger, we substantially stayed for a comedy…

It’s Almost A Parody Of Itself

EL James’ essay is during best competent, though during misfortune it’s flattering goddamn hilarious.


Obviously a book had many feminists and BDSM enthusiasts adult in arms about a romanticisation of abuse. But once a annoy cools there’s still copiousness to hint conversation, as during a finish of a day some of a essay is usually plain funny. These sold lines make us wish a Fifty Shades films had some-more narration…

“His voice is comfortable and rough like dim melted chocolate fudge caramel… or something.”

Or something a small bit some-more eloquent? Apparently not.

“I feel a tone in my cheeks rising again. we contingency be a tone of The Communist Manifesto.”

There’s zero sexier than good aged Communism.


But adequate of complicated amicable politics, story can be voluptuous too!

“I can roughly hear his sphinx-like grin by a phone.”

Yes. That’s how a senses work.

“Amy Studt is singing in my ear about misfits. This strain used to meant so many to me; that’s since I’m a misfit. we have never propitious in anywhere.”

How many do we wish to gamble than when Anastasia was younger, she had a blog entitled “welcome to my disfigured mind”?

This would have been a header image.
This would have been a header image.

The exegesis is one thing. But Christian himself delivers some amazingly humorous discourse that by all accounts unequivocally fails to be sexy…

Fifty Shades Of ‘Did He Seriously Just Say That’

Let’s count out some of Christian’s many iconic lines, shall we?

“Laters baby.”

The classical pointer off from Mr Grey, steady many times via a books.

“I don’t make love, we fuck…hard.”

Christian’s approach too irritable for merciful sex.

“I lay watchful for hours and watched we sleep.”

That’s unequivocally not creepy during all.

It's not stalking if he loves her... right?
It’s not stalking if he loves her… right?

“Do we wish a unchanging vanilla attribute with no eccentric fuckery during all?”

The usually thing improved than this iconic line is a answer, whispered timidly…

“I wish your eccentric fuckery.”

There’s unequivocally zero to supplement to that.

A lot of these lines got created out of a Fifty Shades Of Grey film script, that overtly we consider was a shame. Here’s anticipating that Fifty Shades Darker includes some of a book’s good famous lines. And if not well, during slightest we’ll always have a thespian readings…

And of march a books themselves, that never destroy to entertain.

More shades ...

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