Sex And Depression: Just Add Fifty Shades Of Grey

January 26, 2015 - Fifty Shades of Grey

He arrange of half-smiled as he review a flap, and we remembered there was something in there about sex, though prayed he would leave it alone.

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“Sexually neutered?” he asked.

“Oh, well, yeah, we know, I’ve been on antidepressants for over 25 years now.”

“Well, we should do something about that.”

He called in a medication for testosterone cream to a pharmacy in Baltimore.

“Do we wish to take it topically or vaginally?” he asked me.

I’m certain my cheeks were a good shade of red since I’m not used to these conversations, not even with my womanlike psychiatrist.

“Vaginally will give we a some-more heated passionate feeling,” he said.

“Okay,” we replied, perplexing to act as coolly as a restricted Catholic lady can.

A few days later, Fred from a pharmacy called to tell me a cream was ready, and proceeded to give me instructions on how to use.

“First we puncture a tube with a cap. You’ve finished that before, right?”

“Then we fill a dispenser to an ounce, adult to a second line.”

“Fill it all a way!!!” Eric is yelling from a driver’s chair of a Pilot. Fred was articulate so clearly and loudly, Eric motionless to balance into a conversation. We were picking a kids adult from propagandize for Thanksgiving break.

I call him a “shut up” signal, and continue with Fred, who we consider was happy to speak to me all day.

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“Now I’m going to embody my series in box we have a problem,” he said.

I get a things a day after with his business card, “Call with questions.”

Thanksgiving night, we gave a things a try, anticipating that among my blessings we could contend that my libido was no longer lost. It had come home for a holidays.

Well, by Black Friday morning, we was a great mess. Suicidal thoughts. The kind of psychiatric puncture we wish be traffic with over a holiday break.

I attempted one some-more night, and my symptoms worsened.

Finally, we got on a mechanism and researched testosterone cream and side effects. Sure enough, my greeting is really possible. Lucky me. we tumble within a tiny commission of people for whom this disagreeable things causes suicidal thoughts and serious mood swings.

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Fred kept calling, wanting to know how a cream worked out.

“Can we ask we a personal question?” we pronounced to a crony a other day during my daughter’s basketball practice.

“Sure.”

“Do we like sex?”

She started shouting out loud, and another crony incited around, extraordinary as to what was so funny.

The 3 of us spent a good half hour on a subject while a kids shot hoops.

“I’m starting to worry,” we explained, “because dual comparison friends of cave told me that sex starts to harm when we get older. Apparently, we get drier. And I’m not handling with a full rug to start with, so we don’t have room to go down.”

“Yes, that’s true,” a initial crony said. “One day it started to hurt. Like someone was poking me with a stick.”

I sighed. Maybe we should call Fred back. See if he has anything else in that pharmacy of his.

“However, if we take your time, and learn him how to get we ready, it won’t hurt,” she continued. “A lot of it has to do with anticipating a time to be divided from a kids. When we have them still crawling in bed with you, it’s unfit to get into a mood.”

“I have been regulating KY Jelly for 10 years,” a other chimed in. “I got dry a prolonged time ago. But what will assistance we is reading Fifty Shades of Grey. we swear, we competence not even need a lubricant.”

“Really?” we said.

The book has been a best solution we have found so far. Much improved than adding Viagra, perplexing another vaginal cream, or risking a drug holiday. And, like we said, I’m usually during a conveyor scene.

My wish is that by a time we lapse to see my unifying doctor, we will be so orgasmic that we won’t have to plead this matter any serve with him.

Or with Fred.

By Therese Borchard, Everyday Health Columnist

Join a conversation, “Sex on Meds,” during a new village for persons with depression, Project Beyond Blue.

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