SEX ON THURSDAYS | On a Naughty List

November 2, 2017 - Fifty Shades of Grey

Let’s face it, while winter mangle is a light during a finish of a tunnel, around a eighth day many of us are 5 pounds heavier and positively wearied with a prosy home lives. Sometime during that second week of blithe boredom, we open a little, red-flamed app that we had betrothed not to rejoin. A few swipes later, you’re sitting in your cot wearing comfortable flannel pajamas for a second day in a row, stuffing your face with holiday cookies, feeling that impassioned holiday chime in your pants.

And all of a sudden,  you comprehend a holidays are indeed stressful. At Cornell, we have a oppulance of your possess mattress and no parental supervision, so we never unequivocally have to hide around (unless you’re into that, in that case, ruin yeah), though during home remoteness is a singular luxury. That being said, don’t let it stop we from unwrapping some packages and doing some adult sleigh-riding. Here are some ridicule tips to be unabashedly disobedient this holiday season.

Finding Santa’s Little Helper

Whether it’s your stream S.O., an ex, a crony or a voluptuous stranger, we might wish a assistance of someone for those not-so-silent nights. Once we secure a small helper, remember:

  • Don’t assume what your partner wants or doesn’t want
  • Be honest about your boundaries
  • Holiday lingerie… since ‘tis a season!
  • Holiday unwashed speak is only as fun as it sounds
  • Why extent it to one small helper? Spread a holiday cheer!

Light those Menorahs

Just since you’re wearied doesn’t meant we have to be boring! Similar to a Christmas tree, holiday sex is special since instead of a plain hunger tree, we get to adorn it with magnificent ornaments of all shapes and sizes. To list some gratifying favorites:

  • Gingerbread and candy shaft flavored lube
  • Nutty Vanilla scented candle—  fun fact, vanilla is an aphrodisiac scent!
  • Variety Christmas fun flavored condoms
  • Adult toys — present a moving present that keeps on giving (big O’s)
  • Watch holiday-themed porn together
  • Try holiday-inspired sex positions (Urban Dictionary is a must!)

Baby It’s Cold Outside

You and your S.O. (or prohibited rando) are prepared to go during it, though your houses aren’t protected for sex, or we wish to piquancy adult your venue, where to go? Keeping in mind that open sex can land we in jail and on a sex offenders’ list, here are some options other than your teenage bedroom to get it on:

    • Sleigh Ride: Park somewhere isolated and have a discerning shun track planned. we advise branch a song up, as a vibrations of a speakers, feverishness inside of a car, and disturb of removing held pledge a erotic good time.
    • The North Pole: If we wish to cgange and supplement an additional turn of kinkiness, get disobedient on a snow. Similar to a prohibited ice-cube stage on Fifty Shades of Grey, heat play has some critical sensitive effects, so comfortable it adult with some foreplay indoors and afterwards get raunchy outside.
    • Light it Up: Assuming you’re propitious adequate to have a grate and an dull house, toss some blankets on a ground, and go during it by a fireplace. Although substantially not scientifically correct, there’s something primal and blazing about doing it in a dim room by a red abandon of a blazing fire.



Obviously, this list isn’t comprehensive, so chime some bells, lick some candy canes, spin some dreidels, fist many sugarplums and make Santa glow this holiday season!


Veuve Cliq-Hoe is a tyro during Cornell University. Sex on Thursdays appears swap Thursdays this semester. 

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